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Privacy NoticeNavigating the modern dating world is tricky at the best of times, but for Ellie Harrison, it’s a labyrinth of emotional challenges. Diagnosed with HIV at 21, Ellie, an operations manager, has faced a stark change in people’s behaviour towards her. She opened up about her experiences: “I’ve had instances where people don’t want to share cups with me or they didn’t want to sit next to me at uni because they wrongly thought they’d catch it. I’ve also had dates turn their cheek when going to kiss me you can’t get it from kissing anyway, so that’s silly,” she shared with OK!
Ellie Harrison was just 21 when she found out that she was HIV positive
(Image: Adïam Yemane for National AIDS Trust and EVERPRESS)
Discussing the difficulties of disclosing her status, Ellie said: “The first time I told a date it was OK, because we matched online and had the conversation prior to the date, so that was easier. But the dates where I’ve told people face to face can be quite hard because you never know how someone’s going to react. I used to get so anxious and upset then I’d be crying to someone I’d been on two dates with.” In spite of new figures showing that around 106,890 individuals in the UK live with HIV, they continue to experience stigma in everyday life. Shockingly, recent findings by the Terrence Higgins Trust revealed that a significant portion of Brits would feel uncomfortable: a full 50% admitting unease at the thought of kissing someone with HIV, and 41% hesitant about going on a date with them. Dr Kate Nambiar, of the Terrence Higgins Trust, condemned this prejudice, stating: “Negative attitudes to people living with HIV and stigma around the virus lead to discrimination,” and emphatically declared, And in 2024, there is no place for them. Stigma hurts people living with HIV, it stops them talking openly about what the virus really means, and it puts people off getting tested and knowing their status. For 27 year old Ellie, it’s a harsh reality she’s known since her diagnosis six years prior. Following a nerve-wracking week-plus and unwavering support from her parents, Tara and Simon, an at-home STI kit confirmed her fears with a single finger-prick test: she was HIV positive. Even as she clung to the slim hope of a false positive, the truth was undeniable.
‘I just couldn’t accept it. I was petrified. I knew hardly anything about HIV’
Sign up to OK!’s daily newsletter to get updates sent to your inbox for free “I just couldn’t accept it. I was petrified. I knew hardly anything about HIV. The only things I did know were very stigmatising. It was just so much to wrap my head around,” she shares. “I spent nine hours at an HIV clinic and for most of those nine hours, I wasn’t even speaking sentences as I was crying so much. A lot of the information that I was getting at the time was that I was going to be OK and that there was medication, but I don’t think any of it was going in. I was in such a state of shock that I needed someone to tell me about 600 times for me to accept it.” In spite of her initial struggle, Ellie bravely went public with her diagnosis three years later. Her advocacy for HIV awareness means she often doesn’t have to explain her status on dates many are already aware due to her open discussion of her condition. However, Ellie admits moving to Manchester brought new challenges: “I moved to Manchester a year and a half ago and for the first six months it was hellish. Every man I told would reject me, I’d be blocked, ghosted. They wouldn’t want to speak to me,” she recounts. She continues to lament the lack of knowledge about HIV, especially in the heterosexual community, which impacts her dating life. Ellie explains, “The education on HIV is so poor in the straight community, so a lot of times, when I tell people, I have to explain what HIV is and the fact that I’m OK. People don’t trust that I’m undetectable [the virus can’t be passed on]. I think when people find out from my Instagram, they’re quite quick to go, ‘I’m not going to speak to her ever again.’ I lose that opportunity to rally the fight because they’re gone before I’ve even realised.”
Ellie had a lot of support from her parents, Tara and Simon
Ellie has opened up about the mental toll of living with HIV, revealing that the stigma can lead to anxiety and depression. She shared her own struggles: “From a mental health perspective, it’s been a lot. For the rest of my life, there will always be times when it feels like that,” and recounted the particularly tough time after her diagnosis: “The first year was really turbulent and, unfortunately, a group of lads found out and told everyone at uni, which was horrific. I remember being so upset because I felt like I couldn’t leave the house. In hindsight, it was so freeing because I didn’t have to keep the secret.” Ellie is now using her voice to highlight that HIV can affect heterosexual women too, following a warning from the UK Health Security Agency’s chief medical advisor about the need for increased awareness. The statistics are concerning: “Last year, more than half of heterosexual men (57%) and half of women (49%) were diagnosed late this compares to 37% of gay and bisexual men. This is likely driven by the misconception that they are not at risk.” “Among heterosexual men and women in London, diagnoses rose by 14% last year and outside London by 11%,” says Dr Nambiar. Ellie, who was diagnosed with HIV, is determined to help eradicate the stigma surrounding the condition. She wants to show others that a diagnosis doesn’t mean an end to normal life. Just two days after her diagnosis, she began medication which reduced her viral load to undetectable levels, meaning she can’t pass on the virus. “I will live a long, healthy life because of my tablet. HIV should never affect me in any way,” she confidently states. “But moving forward we need to address the generalised stigma around sexual health to get people in a position where they see taking an STI test like brushing their teeth. It’s something you have to do if you’ve had sex, because these things are treatable.”
Ellie is keen to help remove the stigma of HIV once and for all
The facts and fiction surrounding the virus “It’s important to know that HIV can only be passed on through blood, semen, vaginal fluid, anal mucus and breast milk. It’s not passed on by spitting, sneezing, coughing, kissing or general social contact. HIV is not passed on easily from one person to another,” says Dr Nambiar. “People living with HIV do give birth to HIV negative children. If someone who is pregnant tests positive for HIV, they will be advised to start treatment straight away. This is crucial to prevent the virus being transmitted to the baby during pregnancy or birth.” If you’re newly diagnosed with HIV and need support, contact Terrence Higgins Trust’s free helpline THT Direct on 0808 802 1221 or visit tht.org.ukStory SavedYou can find this story in My Bookmarks.Or by navigating to the user icon in the top right.Follow OK! MagazineFacebookTwitterCommentMore OnHealthReal Life
