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Privacy NoticeFollow OK! on Threads here: https://www.threads.net/@ok_mag When Nicky met Andy, the love of her life, in Manchester in 2002, she never imagined they would not be growing old together. After a whirlwind romance, Andy proposed to Nicky while they were on holiday in Jamaica in 2003 and they came back in 2004 to get married there at a beachfront ceremony. Tragically, after many happy years together and with their son Finn, who was born in 2007, their world was turned upside down in 2017 after Andy had two heart attacks. Sadly, his illness caused catastrophic brain damage and after he was released from ICU, he needed 24-7 care in a nursing home. In April 2020, Andy died from COVID and Nicky became a widow. Three years on, Nicky misses Andy every day, but is channelling her grief into helping other widows and widowers find happiness and love again through her dating app, Chapter 2.
When Nicky met Andy, the love of her life, she never imagined they would not be growing old together
After a whirlwind romance, Andy proposed to Nicky while they were on holiday in Jamaica in 2003
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Nicky tells OK!: “I came home from a business trip in 2017 and I could tell that Andy wasn’t 100 per cent. I said ‘what’s wrong?’ and he said ‘I’ve got these chest pains, I’m sure its nothing to worry about.’ She insisted on taking Andy to the doctors, who first told them he had anxiety. After three more trips to the GP, she asked for an ECG to be done – and that was the point they realised he was having a heart attack. Nicky explains: “He was blue lighted to hospital and they fitted him with some stents. I brought him home five days later, and we were toasting a lucky escape. Obviously, some lifestyle changes would be needed, but that was it.” Unfortunately, later that night, the stent failed and he had another heart attack. Nicky had to do CPR for 40 minutes before the ambulance came and rushed him back to hospital- where he spent 2 weeks in ICU. “One of his consultants took me to one side and said you need to know this story is not going to have a happy ending. We’re going to bring him round and he is going to be severely brain damaged,” Nicky explains.
Tragically, after many happy years together and with their son Finn, who was born in 2007, their world was turned upside down in 2017
Nicky then visited Andy at a nursing home, where he was having specialist care. She says: “It was utterly heart-breaking to see my beautiful, gorgeous husband broken before me. “For three years, I had to visit the nursing home and be heartbroken on a weekly basis. It was one of the darkest periods of my life.” When COVID hit in 2020 and swept across care homes, Andy sadly got coronavirus and passed away in the April and Nicky became a widow. She says: “I began my little journey. I joined a charity, an amazing charity called Widowed And Young, which is for people who are widowed under the age of 51. “They do peer to peer support and meet ups, so you realise you’re not the only person going through this. Every other one of my friends was happily married with 2.4 kids, you know, planning the rest of their lives and retirements together. “When you’re widowed you don’t only lose your partner and your soulmate. You lose your future. It was an incredibly challenging period of my life and meeting other widows was incredibly helpful.”
Soon, through going to lots of meet ups, Nicky realised that conversation often turned to dating
Soon, through going to lots of meet ups, Nicky realised that conversation often turned to dating and if people were thinking about getting back out there. “I genuinely was thinking about it. I went on Tinder and I went on Bumble. I actually met my husband on datingdirect.com. Online dating had changed so much, full of terrible behaviour. I thought there has to be a better way.” She did some research, certain that there were dating apps out there for widows and widowers, but there wasn’t. Nicky decided to create one herself, opting for Chapter 2 as it is a commonly used phrase in the community for to describe your next significant relationship. The app works like any other dating site – the only difference is that people are asked to prove their widowed status. Nicky says: “We launched in November last year. We have over three and a half thousand members which is great. I would never have chosen this life. But if I can help some people find some joy, that helps me make sense of my loss. “Ironically, I must be the only woman in the world who runs two dating sites and hasn’t got a boyfriend. Chapter Two has become my Chapter Two,” she adds. Now, as she looks to the future, she misses Andy every day and speaks to him. She knows that he would want her to be happy. She says: “I think as human beings we have the capacity to love multiple people in our lifetime. Andy would want me to be happy and want me to move forward. We always say move forward because you carry a piece of them in your heart forevermore.” Heather Smith, 35, from Manchester, uses Chapter 2
Heather became a widow in July 2021 after her husband Stuart died of cancer
Heather became a widow in July 2021 after her husband Stuart died of cancer. Two years on from his death, Heather misses Stuart but feels like he is still with them, watching over his family and influencing the choices they make. Before Stuart died, he had spoken with her about her meeting someone else. She tells OK!: “We [me and Stuart] had a conversation not long after they said this is a terminal illness. And he said to me, when you’re ready, you’ll meet somebody else. “At the time I was absolutely heartbroken to even hear those words. He said, just be happy, whatever that means. That’s all he wanted.” The couple had a very happy life together, meeting in 2011 at work when she was 22 and he was 37. He proposed in 2012, a year after they got together.
Heather and Stuart had a very happy life together, meeting in 2011 at work when she was 22 and he was 37
Their house was full of love and laughter and fun and they had a great life with their two children. Unfortunately, things changed in August 2020. Stuart was feeling really poorly and Heather thought he might have had a kidney infection. She went away for the weekend with their children and he went to A&E. Heather was expecting him to be told he would feel better with antibiotics. However, doctors found a tumour on his kidney which was unexpected as he had no other symptoms. She says: “It was a huge shock. When we spoke to the doctors they seemed quite optimistic that they would be able to remove the tumour.” But the surgery didn’t go as planned and he had immunotherapy treatment to reduce the size of the tumour. The treatment seemed to work until in April 2021, the couple were told the cancer had spread. Stuart died on 26 July 2021, three days before their daughter’s seventh birthday. Heather says: “He was really just happy go lucky, he brought fun to every situation like even the most mundane things.”
Since she lost Stuart, Heather (pictured with others from Chapter 2) has had some dark and tough times in her grief journey
Since she lost Stuart, Heather has had some dark and tough times in her grief journey but she has pulled through with the help of her friends and children. Now she has more good days than bad days. She began using Chapter 2 earlier this year after meeting Nicky at Widowed And Young. She explains: “I hadn’t consciously decided at any point, ‘right I’m ready to date now, I’m going to do this’ but I thought it was definitely worth having a look.” While Heather has not yet found romance, she has met some kind friends and enjoyed some male flirtation and banter. She says: “If I know anything its that life is unpredictable. It’s early days for me. But we are uniquely placed to understand each other [as widows and widowers]. “It’s just given me hope that it is possible to build a life again after unimaginable loss. I’m only 35 and I don’t want to be alone forever.” Find out more about the Chapter 2 app by clicking hereStory SavedYou can find this story in  My Bookmarks.Or by navigating to the user icon in the top right.Follow OK! MagazineFacebookTwitterCommentMore OnReal LifeHealth
