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Privacy NoticeFrom loss to a complicated divorce or navigating a tangle of tricky friendships, messy situations in life will often make us feel stressed, uneasy and uncomfortable. We’re conditioned to believe that any bump in the road will send us into a spin. But life IS messy, and without any challenges to work through, we wouldn’t learn valuable lessons and discover the truest versions of ourselves. Samantha Lourie’s new book, The Power Of Mess, teaches us new ways to embrace the stickiest of situations in our lives. When times are hard, Samantha – who runs journalling workshops and online self-love and healing courses – admits there is no harm in not knowing exactly how to fix them. In fact, she admits she “lives 85% of my life winging it, and 15% with things under control.” Things don’t always go to plan, but by following Samantha’s top tips on how to embrace the mess, we can all feel liberated by turning life’s tough times into our own superpowers…
Messy situations can lead to valuable life lessons
(Image: Getty)
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Pause and breathe “When we face any kind of mess, we immediately feel overwhelmed by the challenges ahead. So we must learn to pause and remember we don’t need to find all the answers straight away. “Sometimes, we first need time to accept what has happened, before we can start to overcome it. Allowing ourselves to be in the moment of pain can be beneficial in the long run. “Breathing can really realign your feelings, and the power of an exhale is so important. When we’re nervous and up against it, we tend to hold our breath and breathe shallowly, but if we take long breaths out and centre ourselves, our nervous system will know we’re OK. Try to tap into the bigger picture, where the current issue is just a small part of it.”
Taking a moment to pause can help realign our feelings
(Image: Getty Images)
Change your angle “Bring in the word ‘maybe’. It’s the word that connects two worlds of possibility, the feeling of ‘this might not go to plan’, but opens the door to the positive possibilities as well. “Try to use the word in a positive way: ‘maybe’ this difficult time is going to get easier for me; ‘maybe’ there is light at the end of the tunnel. It’s fine to feel scared or overwhelmed while navigating issues, but ‘maybe’ can help us manage negative thoughts. Change the narrative and open the door to hope and positive outcomes.” Reassure yourself “Get into the habit of telling yourself, ‘Everything is going to be OK.’ We should be wrapping our inner selves in a blanket of worth and gentle, inspirational affirmations.
Inspirational affirmations are great ways of showing ourselves some compassion
(Image: Getty Images)
“This is more important than self- esteem, which says, ‘I can do this,’ as the reality is we don’t feel that way all the time. Self-reassurance says, ‘I’m going to be OK, no matter what happens.’ “Show yourself some compassion and empathy, and treat yourself with unconditional worthiness. It’s important to respect yourself when you feel strong, but also when you take small steps forward.” Set healthy boundaries “It’s vital that we stop running ourselves into the ground, and protect ourselves from toxic influences and messy energy. explore the aspects of your life that make you feel happy and inspired, but be aware of people- pleasing and forget about the fear of missing out. speak up when you need to, and say yes and no with purpose. don’t waste your energy doing things you don’t want to, or having conversations you find draining.”
Samantha Lourie is the author of The Power Of Mess
(Image: Supplied)
Keep a journal Journalling can offer you the therapy you need, without paying the hefty price tag. It’s a space where you can learn to allow yourself to be wholly present in that moment. By journalling, you create a space where you can empty your heart – where you can purge and let out whatever is going on inside of you, and not feel judged. Don’t edit it or make it pretty. It may not be pretty, but it’s still valuable and meaningful. Writing out your thoughts and feelings can help you see things about yourself that may be hard to pinpoint, creating space between you and the mess via pen and paper. The Power Of Mess by S.C. Lourie (Yellow Kite, £16.99) is out nowStory SavedYou can find this story in My Bookmarks.Or by navigating to the user icon in the top right.Follow OK! MagazineFacebookTwitterCommentMore OnHealth
