Author Zoë Folbigg, who lives in Hitchin, Hertfordshire with husband Mark and their two sons, fully embraces the open conversations we’re all having these days about the perimenopause. But the flood of stories from other women – including celebrities and mums in the playground – detailing horrendous side effects has become just too much for her! So much so, that the 47 year old, who has written six romance novels to date, took matters into her own hands – and learnt some invaluable health hacks along the way. She tells her story here… “It started with Davina McCall. I b****y love Davina – her fitness DVD back in the Noughties made me ache more than any workout I’ve ever done, it was so effective, and I can’t get through an episode of Long Lost Family without sobbing at the stories and her empathy.
Zoë Folbigg, author of six romance novels, says other women’s negative stories about perimenopause have scared her
(Image: Alexa Loy Photography)
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She’s lovely, she’s relatable, and she’s been a warrior in opening up the conversation about perimenopause. When she made a documentary about it, I noted it, but parked that thought and said, ‘I’m sure I’ll need to watch that one day.’ Then I read how the menopause left Carol Vorderman feeling suicidal. Dame Kelly Holmes felt weak and unable to lift shopping – and she’s a sporting legend. Martine McCutcheon says it’s given her crippling anxiety – and I pay very close attention to Martine because a) her Instagram is always gorgeous and b) we have the exact same birthday. Before I knew it, the bots had cottoned onto me. I’m 47, I’m an obvious target, but now, every time I open social media, my feeds are full throttle on the terrible symptoms, side-effects and impacts of perimenopause… every morning when I’m just hoping to see what lovely David and Victoria are up to, I’m being sold a supplement, a new timed way of eating, or an exercise regime that will help combat the awful existence I’m about to be plunged into. It’s not enough that I finally learned my cycle in my 40s – that’s all about to be turned upside-down and I’m about to be hit by a truck.
She describes Davina McCall as “lovely” and “relatable”
(Image: Dave Benett/Getty Images Garnier)
I stopped looking at Instagram in the morning – my perimenopause paranoia was starting my days with a buzzkill. But it spread into my real world of course. In the school playground, mums started sharing their symptoms. One had spiking blood pressure that was causing her so much stress, she was having to take statins. Another said her hair was noticeably thinning and I tried not to look, I didn’t want to make her feel worse. Another had itchy legs that were ravaging her at night. Some had awful insomnia. Several mentioned weight gain around their middles. And the brain fog – everyone seemed to have brain fog. From walking into a room and forgetting what they were going in for to actually forgetting all their words in the middle of a… oh. One mum started hormone replacement therapy and loved it – she said she felt herself again and her long grey hair looked chic and lustrous. Another mum said HRT made her more anxious and left her feeling really blue. I felt even more terrified – what if I have these symptoms, what if I decide to go on HRT, what if I’m one of the unlucky ones whose symptoms worsen?
“I read how the menopause left Carol Vorderman feeling suicidal,” she says
(Image: Ken McKay/ITV/REX/Shutterstock)
So I did a mental assessment of myself. Night sweats? Check – but not unusual for me in the week before my period. Rage? Well my teenage boy can be infuriating when he loses an expensive item of clothing. I don’t think I’m raging out of the blue. Forgetful? I’m an author with a thousand characters and their stories milling in my head, I’m bound to drop a few plates when I’m in the throes of writing a book. I decided to go to 40s Woman, a perimenopause wellness workshop that women I know were rating about, run by PT Anna Black. She’s been educating women to help them face their perimenopause years full-on. At the session I learned these life hacks… Daylight helps: even if you just stand in the garden for five minutes in the morning while having a cup of tea; even on a grey cloudy day – daylight can work wonders. Supplements: ashwaganda is a plant remedy that can help moderate our reactions to stress.
Martine McCutcheon says perimenopause has given her crippling anxiety
(Image: Dave Benett/Getty Images for SHEIN)
Exercise: I run and do Pilates anyway, but Anna said keep doing it. For women who don’t exercise, start working in small amounts to raise your heart rate. This helps blood sugar balance, heart and brain health. Strength training: Kelly Holmes swears by strength training. ‘Muscle mass starts to decline from our mid-30s and the only way to maintain and grow it is through movement,’ says Anna. ‘And as it can help reduce inflammation and boost our immune system, it’s especially important for midlife women.’ The workshop was empowering, and I came away with so many tips to help me navigate the turbulence ahead… and now I’m armed, like a banshee with a baseball bat, waiting for an intruder to enter my home uninvited. But then I had another thought: what if I’m being paranoid? What if I don’t have to fear the next seven years. I called Anna Black again.
“Thanks to the celebs I’m ready, but I’m not going to put life on hold and live in fear of symptoms that might not happen,” says Zoe
(Image: Alexa Loy Photography)
“We don’t all have symptoms – some lucky women sail through. But ultimately, even if you have no symptoms, your body is changing. Our female sex hormones, which are protective of our hearts, brains and bones, are declining and learning how to look after your body now has become more important than ever. Stressing is counterproductive though, so take a breath and think about small positive changes that bring you joy.” Forewarned is forearmed. Thanks to the celebs I’m ready, but I’m not going to put life on hold and live in fear of symptoms that might not happen. And please, celebs, do share the positives of perimenopause too… surely there must be some, right?!” Zoë Folbigg’s new book Fairytale Of New York (£9.99, Boldwood) is out now… and it’s not about the menopause! AMAZON LINK TO BUY: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BL6SCCBX Photo credits: Alexa Loy Photography
Zoë Folbigg’s new book Fairytale Of New York (£9.99, Boldwood) is out now… and it’s not about the menopause!
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