LifestyleForget pilates classes and organic juices – here's the five free things you need for health and happiness

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Privacy NoticeThe wellness industry is worth a whopping £3.5 trillion these days and one look at Instagram is enough to convince us that all we need to do to be happy is indulge in daily meditation, practise clean eating and spend all our spare time at Pilates classes. But according to psychology experts, pricey scented candles, monthly massages and freshly squeezed organic juices on tap may not actually be the secret to a stress-free life and eternal happiness. In fact, research shows that rather than spending a weekend in a fluffy robe at a fancy spa, it’s actually the pursuit of pleasure and meaning in your life that is much more likely to have a positive impact on your mind in the long term. According to psychologist Martin Seligman, this can be achieved by following a model called PERMA, which is an acronym for what he considers to be the five pillars of wellbeing – positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning and achievement.

The expert says we can feel energised by being around others
(Image: Jacob Ammentorp Lund)

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Martin’s view is that focusing on these achievable elements in our life is much more likely to lead to contentment, fulfilment and happiness than anything we can purchase from the “self-care” aisle in the supermarket. A study, which took place in 2016 and involved 1,624 participants, proved this point, with those who took part saying the PERMA model helped to reduce depression symptoms and increase levels of happiness. So, with busy jobs, endless family demands and, let’s face it, limited budgets, how do we go about nailing these five crucial elements in order to help ourselves experience more joy in life? Here, psychotherapist and founder of Mental Health Works Noel McDermott gives us some top tips on how to do it and (spoiler alert!) it’s a lot easier than you might think… 1. Positive emotions Noel says, “Imagine you’re a gardener. Your attention is the equivalent of sunshine, rain and nutrients. Bring your attention to those things in your life you wish to grow and don’t give energy to things that you don’t. If we don’t brush our teeth daily we will see decay. Maintaining their health requires action as does psychological health.”

‘Bring your attention to those things in your life you wish to grow’, the expert shares

2. Engagement Get, and stay, connected. “Simply put, when our brain and body is allowed to engage in a task without too much interference from our conscious decision-making, we get wellbeing benefits and reduced anxiety,” says Noel. “As strange as it may seem, driving may well be most people’s experience of Flow. Mostly we drive in a flow state of deep immersion in the activity with few elements of conscious intervention. Being fully in the moment reduces stress.” 3. Relationships We can feel energised by being around others, and Noel says, “The only reason humans are the dominant species is because of our amazing capacity to form complex social groups. Neanderthals were more intelligent than us but died out because we were more social and shared what we learnt. Anything we do as individuals that is pro social is hugely rewarded with positive neuro-chemicals and makes us feel better. We are born able to smile.”

Spending time with family and friends can make you feel energised

4. Meaning “Humans are meaning-making machines!” says Noel. “Finding true meaning in our life helps us transform any challenges that we might face into a narrative that promotes resilience. We often associate meaning with volunteering but it’s also present in the arts and creativity.” He says that it’s about looking beyond ourselves and seeing the bigger picture. 5. Achievement “Learning and growth are essential psychological survival mechanisms,” says Noel. “With brain health, it’s a case of use it or lose it. Learning and mastering new skills reduces calcification and also reduces the risk of dementia.” He adds, “In addition, learning with other people helps develop new relationships and makes us vulnerable and open to new people. The more we can tolerate vulnerability, the healthier we are psychologically.” ‘Being part of a rowing team is hugely bonding’

‘One thing that really helps my wellbeing is my love of rowing’, says Lebby Eyres, 53

Writer Lebby Eyres, 53, tells us how rowing has brought meaning to her life and how it helps her live in the moment and stay positive. “Like most people, there have been times in my life where I’ve struggled with low mood, but I don’t think you’re ever going to find redemption while face down on a massage table. One thing that really helps my wellbeing is my love of rowing. “When you’re on the water with your teammates, you can’t think about anything else, particularly when you’re steering the boat as I do. If you’re not focused, you get out of time with the others and you might crash, so it’s not an option. It clears your mind of anything else and also, you’re on the water, which is a very calming place to be. You’re changing your state of being by pushing yourself really hard. If you shy away from things in life because you’re scared of them, you’ll never really know what you’re capable of. This is how I ended up rowing across the Atlantic in 2021! In terms of human connections, being part of a team is hugely bonding and the relationship you have with your fellow rowers is a beautiful thing. It’s akin to a sibling relationship in that you can disagree but you move on from it so quickly and become so close. It also makes you more accepting of others in life generally and more forgiving. I’ve found meaning in my life by combining my passion for sport with fundraising for others. When my mum died from breast cancer, I decided to do the MoonWalk and raise money for charity. This really kick-started my midlife fitness drive and I get so much fulfilment from helping others. When I’m thinking positively about the future, it leads me to think of all the possibilities and opportunities ahead.”Story SavedYou can find this story in My Bookmarks.Or by navigating to the user icon in the top right.Follow OK! MagazineFacebookTwitterCommentMore OnHealthMental health

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