Nicola Shaw, 57, from Dumfries, became a professional bodybuilder at the age of 50 (Image: Supplied)Get daily celeb exclusives and behind the scenes house tours direct to your inboxMore Newsletters SubscribePlease enter a valid emailSomething went wrong, please try again later.More NewslettersWe use your sign-up to provide content in ways you’ve consented to and improve our understanding of you. This may include adverts from us and third parties based on our knowledge of you. More infoThank you for subscribing!We have more newslettersShow me See OurPrivacy Notice See OurPrivacy Notice×Group 28 Get daily celeb exclusives and behind the scenes house tours direct to your inboxInvalid emailSomething went wrong, please try again later.Sign UpNo thanks, closeWe use your sign-up to provide content in ways you’ve consented to and improve our understanding of you. This may include adverts from us and third parties based on our knowledge of you. More info×Group 28Thank you for subscribing!We have more newslettersShow MeNo thanks, closeSee our
Privacy NoticeWhen Nicola Shaw, now 57, from Dumfries, Scotland ventured into a gym as a middle-aged wife and mum, she never imagined that lifting weights would give her the confidence to branch out on her own and reinvent her life after her marriage crumbled. As my husband Peter got ready to go on a bike ride, I suddenly felt annoyed. “Do you know how easy you have it?” I said. He turned to look at me. “Don’t moan,” he retorted. “If you really wanted to do something, you’d make the time.” I was fuming. I thought, “You have no idea.” I was juggling work, raising our son Hugo, a home renovation project, and trying to do everything society expects of mothers. I had no identity beside being a wife and mother. I’d put myself last and let my health and fitness slip because I didn’t feel I had the motivation or time to do anything about it.
‘I had no identity beside being a wife and mother’
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While I loved being a mother, my self-esteem had plummeted. I felt like chief cook and washerupper. I thought, “I’ll make the time… I’ll show you.” I joined a bootcamp and made a regular commitment for a few months. I started getting up at 5.30am every morning so I could train between 6am and 7am every day. I did boxing and weightlifting and loved getting stronger. I found the motivational talks inspiring too. One particular speaker really piqued my interest – an amateur competitive female bodybuilder in her thirties. She was very fit, very athletic and she looked fantastic. I thought to myself, “I’d love to be more athletic-looking. I can do that too.” But she was 32 and I was 47. What mother, approaching her fifties, would dream of getting into bodybuilding? Was I being ridiculous? And I didn’t want to embarrass my husband and my son, then eight. “I want to be a competitive bodybuilder. This woman has put fire in my body and I really want to train,” I explained to Peter and Hugo. “How will you feel if I have to get up on the stage? Will you be embarrassed?” But they both told me to go for it.
Nicola before she started lifting weights
I signed up with a personal trainer and went on a nutrition plan. I started training five days a week, for an hour and half, and ate well. For months I kept my new regime hidden from friends. They kept asking, “You look great. What’s your secret?” But I was too embarrassed to tell them. I questioned myself too. I wondered if I was having a mid-life crisis. I’d set my sights on entering a bodybuilding competition. I’d have to wear sparkly heels, a sparkly bikini and get on stage. When I came clean to friends and family, I suspected people were thinking, “What on earth is she doing?” My goal was scary but I’ve always been determined – when I set my mind to something, I achieve it. Sometimes it was hard to go out early in the morning and train but I knew I’d be standing on a stage next to someone who had. Bodybuilding gave me a focus and was something that was mine – I wasn’t “just” a wife and mother. I was able to reclaim being me. I signed up for my first competition, not knowing if I could do it. But the more I trained, the more my self-doubt slipped away. My first competition was in April 2016 in the PCA (Physical Culture Association). It took a lot of courage to get up on stage because of the age difference between me and the other competitors. Some of the women were under 20 and I was about to see my 50th birthday.
Nicola with her son Hugo
Nicola felt empowered by competing
(Image: Ian Barclay)
I felt so nervous. Would I nail the routine? Would I fall over in my heels? Would my bikini stay on? It was one of the scariest things I’d ever done. I felt really exposed in my tiny bikini – I was used to jumpers and leggings! But there was a brilliant buzz. I got a kick out of it and felt empowered. I took part in more competitions in the years that followed. My last competition was in Manchester in 2018 aged 52. Each time I got such an adrenaline rush. Bodybuilding has given me so much – it helped me reclaim myself and gave me back my identity, self-esteem and self-belief. It gave me the confidence to reassess what type of life I wanted to live and showed me I could do anything when I put my mind to it. For a while, my marriage had been failing – we had drifted apart and were on a different trajectory. Peter and I tried to work things out but I realised we were better off apart and I instigated a split. Although things were amicable, getting divorced and learning to navigate a new routine was a very difficult time. Bodybuilding gave me a crutch and helped me power through.
‘Bodybuilding gave me a crutch and helped me power through’
(Image: Ian Barclay)
Getting divorced after 17 years of marriage at the age of 50 was not easy, but bodybuilding came into my life when I most needed it and gave me the confidence and belief to branch out on my own. Bodybuilding provided a fantastic distraction and a focus, a way of channelling my energy that would otherwise have consumed me. Although I am going on dates again, there are challenges. People mistake me for being 15 years younger, which is causing havoc with online dating. I turn 58 this year, but I get mistaken for my early forties on online dating forums. If I post a current picture of myself and explain I’m 57 I get accused of catfishing or having a fake profile. I get told, “You must have posted old photos because you can’t possibly look that young,” or “You’re too good to be true looking like that at your age. What’s the catch?” I struggle to find decent men to date who, like me, have looked after themselves and are at a similar stage in life. I’m not ageist, but I tend not to find guys my age attractive because they haven’t kept in shape physically. Also, I think that reflects on their outlook. I see a lot of guys in their forties who look older than me too.
‘People mistake me for being 15 years younger’
I’ve been asked out on dates by guys in their twenties, thirties and forties. I don’t mind dating someone younger than me but definitely not someone who is young enough to be my son. The last time I online dated, I created a profile saying I was 49. When I matched with guys and chatted, I told them I was in my fifties. Most are OK with that. The ones I met could obviously see I am indeed me and I do look young for my age. I don’t like feeling like I have to do this to make online dating work for me. But I’m proud of looking as good as I do. Even though I’m not doing competitive bodybuilding any more, fitness is still a huge part of my life. I now work as an online coach and I’ve helped more than 100 women in their forties transform their health. I help my clients improve their health and fitness and reclaim themselves. I love empowering women and helping them create new, healthy lifestyles. We don’t need to write off older women – life can begin at 50. I could never have imagined bodybuilding would transform my life and I hope other women will feel inspired to pursue their goals too. Find out more at facebook.com/nicolashawonlinecoachStory SavedYou can find this story in My Bookmarks.Or by navigating to the user icon in the top right.Follow OK! MagazineFacebookTwitterCommentMore OnReal LifeHealth
